Have you ever thought about it:
⦁ I feel “irritated and angry” even with trivial things, and I get facial expressions and attitudes.
⦁ It’s easy to get depressed by small mistakes, mistakes, and people’s opinions.
⦁ Unable to perform as expected due to anxiety and fear.
In this situation, your emotions tend to create problems.
On the other hand, if you can control your emotions and get along well, you can improve your interpersonal relationships, increase your self-affirmation, get along well with yourself, and increase your enthusiasm for action. You can make a difference.
In addition, you can avoid “taking negative actions” and “creating problems” without being able to control your emotions, which can change the outcome of your life.
Emotion can be positive or negative depending on you
Emotions have the power to move people. Action is essential for results, but emotions are the driving force behind that action. You can turn that feeling into a plus or a minus by taking advantage of that feeling and dealing with it well.
And by making good use of the power of emotions, it can be a ” driving force to create one from zero or minus” or a “power to stand up to and overcome difficulties”.
Alternatively, the way you interact and be flexible in interpersonal relationships will change, such as “building good interpersonal relationships,” “restoring relationships with loved ones,” and “demonstrating excellent leadership .”
On the other hand, if you are swallowed by negative emotions such as anger, sadness, hate, regret, and jealousy, you will be more likely to work negatively
⦁ Words and behaviors that hinder results and actions
⦁ Psychological braking
⦁ Poor performance
⦁ Negative behavior that hurts people or breaks relationships
Four important points in controlling emotions
Point 1. Be aware of and clarify your feelings
Be aware of your feelings and be clear. That is the first step in controlling emotions. You can’t control it unless you notice your emotions. For example, have you ever seen such a person?
⦁ Someone who is very emotional while saying he is not angry
⦁ A person who always behaves well so as not to feel negative emotions
⦁ A person who covers his sadness and has little change in facial expression / a person who kills himself with regret and has a weak emotional expression
Point 2. Acknowledge (accept) emotions
Once you notice your emotions, it is important to “acknowledge the emotions you are feeling now .”
Admitting here has two meanings.
⦁ Admit (accept) what you feel Admit and accept, “I’m frustrated right now.”
⦁ Admit that feelings are natural Admits that “feeling frustrated, sad, etc. is a natural thing”
Point 3. Clarify and organize events and causes
If you notice, acknowledge, and accept your emotions, organize them. When an emotion comes out, there must be an event or cause that elicited that emotion.
Knowing and organizing events and causes can help you control your emotions. This is because emotions have the following functions.
⦁ By knowing the cause and organizing it, you can organize your feelings
⦁ By knowing the cause and organizing it, I realize that I was emotional due to misunderstandings and assumptions.
Point 4. Change the meaning
Change the meaning related to emotions. There is nothing good or bad about the emotion itself or the event that triggered it. Whether they work positively or negatively depends on what they mean. Knowing this fact and paying attention to its meaning is also an important point to control emotions.
⦁ 6 ways to control your emotions
⦁ Set rules when you become emotional
To control your emotions, it is effective to predetermine the rules for when you become emotional.
For example, this is the rule.
⦁ If you feel negative emotions, raise your eyes, correct your posture, and move your body.
⦁ When you are emotional, refrain from saying or acting
⦁ Change location / set time
If you become emotional, it is also effective to “temporarily change your environment (place)” and “set aside time”.
These are effective for the following reasons:
- You don’t have to take emotional words and actions on the spot
- Feelings are easy to switch, and you will be able to “see yourself objectively” and “see the situation from a bird’s-eye view.”
- Adjusting the “negative image” that elicits emotions to positive
If you have a negative image such as failure for a future event that has not happened, you may have negative emotions such as anxiety and fear.
In such cases, it is effective to adjust the negative image to a positive one.
⦁ Positive emotions get bigger
⦁ Make negative emotions positive
⦁ Reduce negative emotions
⦁ Move/change posture
One of the “simple and effective ways” to control your emotions is to move or change your posture.
In psychology, there is the idea that the mind and body are connected.
⦁ When I’m nervous: My facial expression is naturally stiff, and I tend to put strength all over my body.
⦁ When depressed: Gaze drops, facial expressions disappear, and posture tends to deteriorate
⦁ Try to stand in the position of the other party / third party
When you become emotional in an interpersonal relationship, trying to stand in the “other party’s position” or “third party’s position” is also effective in controlling your emotions.
However, it may not be easy at times to stand in the position of the other party or the position of a third party. That’s where the question comes in.
The brain has the property of “answering questions .” Therefore, by using questions, it becomes easier to stand in the position of “the other party” and the position of a third party (objective position)